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This blog was born out of a Dynasty Rankings thread originally begun in October, 2006 at the Footballguys.com message boards. The rankings in that thread and the ensuing wall-to-wall discussion of player values and dynasty league strategy took on a life of its own at over 275 pages and 700,000 page views. The result is what you see in the sidebar under "Updated Positional Rankings": a comprehensive ranking of dynasty league fantasy football players by position on a tiered, weighted scale. In the tradition of the original footballguys.com Dynasty Rankings thread, intelligent debate is welcome and encouraged.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

No More Loud-Mouthed Schnook vs. Pencil-Neck Geek

Sweet Fancy Moses! ESPN has finally sacked Sean Salisbury . . . only about eight years after I first called for him to be gagged and thrown into a swamp. I don't even watch ESPN anymore, but I guess I'm just the kind of guy who can find glee in seeing a flatulent creep get his just desserts in the end. I would like to think ESPN finally tired of a one trick pony who laid the truth on us one week only to pull a complete 180 the next, but it probably has more to do with pushing the envelope a bit too far in his weekly unwatchable insult-fest with pencil-neck geek John Clayton. Here's the report from Pro Football Talk:

The move was, in our view, long overdue. Per USA Today, Salisbury’s contract had expired. He likely sealed his fate with that disgraceful on-air dissing of John Clayton last month, during which Salisbury called Clayton the “Cryptkeeper.”

As regular visitors to this site know, we don’t care much for Salisbury. He’s loud, he’s a jerk, and far too often he speaks in sweeping absolutes. Also, he reportedly was suspended for showing cell-phone photos of his penis to colleagues at the network. Frankly, we’re surprised he lasted there as long as he did.

True to form, Salisbury is crowing about his departure.

“I have grown as much as I can at ESPN and decided to expand my horizons,” Salisbury said in a statement. “I have created a brand and it’s time to expand into other opportunities in TV, radio, Internet, publishing, movies and public speaking, among others. My resume speaks for itself as a football analyst, and I believe I can talk all sports with the best of them.”

Hey, Sean — a periodic cameo in an Adam Sandler flick doesn’t make you an actor. A web site that looks like crap and that rarely was updated before it went off line won’t turn you into an Internet mogul.

Publishing? Please. (Unless, of course, you’ve got a proposal for “Cell Phone Porn for Dummies.”)

Sean Salisbury needed ESPN far more than ESPN needed him, and unless he plans to handle weekend sports at the UPN affiliate in Tallahassee, his broadcasting career is officially over.

3 comments:

Kevin said...

I think you're way off base on John Clayton:

http://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/1985_photo_reveals_espns

Chris Wesseling said...

That picture creeps me out, man.

Chris Wesseling said...

ESPN Producer: You & Clayton really need to ratchet up the old school vs. new school, jock vs. nerd, you're clueless and I'm brilliant schtick. Whatever he says, you have to take the other side. Agreement makes for dull television. We need to really spice up to get that 15-22-year-old target audience.

Salisbury: Got ya. Kill Clayton. Just brutalize him in front of a national audience. Make sure to refer to him as the "Cryptkeeper" like we all do behind his back. I mean, you should see Van Pelt laugh his ass off when Berman does his Clayton Cryptkeeper impression.

So who's the bad guy here?